just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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