maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
