It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize