real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
