id be glad to
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
