I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
