The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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