Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
