i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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