I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Please, let me fuck your mom
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
