The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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