laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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