then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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