So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
3 2 1 whiskey
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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