he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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