I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
false alarm, still single
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