Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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