the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
