She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
i drank out of a bidet.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
