Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
