I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize