I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
