I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize
