Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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