i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Congratulations! We have a period
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