vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Slut skills are useful in every country.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
