She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
