the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
But break dance skills will only take you so far
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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