Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
