You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Randomize
