I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Randomize
