have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
