They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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