She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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