I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
