I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Randomize