Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize