I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
When did angry sex become our thing?
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
