I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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