I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Come back. Shots need mouths.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Randomize