; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
