Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
