I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
