Whoa Z and x make the same sound
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
