You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
