well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
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