Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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