I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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