i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
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