@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
