oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
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