Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I am naked and annoyed.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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