yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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