am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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