so explain again why im purple
no
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Randomize
