Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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