Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
