i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
