A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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