I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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