Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize