I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
