plz talk dirty to me
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Randomize
