I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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