I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
