and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
