I wish I only lived at night.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
