Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Randomize
