remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
