i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
