you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Randomize
